What 2 Say if a woman approaches you about this sign.
Print this, memorize
it and keep it in your glove
Disclaimer: Anything you do is
on your own volition. By reading and printing this you
agree not to hold Candle In The Window liable for anything
you do as a mature, concerned citizen helping another.
You may be approached by women of any and all economic
levels, looking for help or testing your sincerity. We
recommend that you:
encouraging, compassionate and non-judgmental.
Assume she is quite
distressed and WANTS to find a practical non-violent
solution. Focus on HER, not the baby; she probably cannot
focus on anything else right away.
2. Listen to
hopeful and assure her there are people who can help and
support her during this difficult time. Her life is not
over. Many women have been in her shoes and are leading
happy fulfilling lives. They got through it without adding
bigger regrets to their lives.
3. Ask her if
she is being coerced or pressured to have an
that relationship will rarely survive after an abortion.
She will soon hate whomever led her to do such a horrible
thing to her child. And she will love whomever showed her
the life-nurturing support she really needed. We can help
her find money, a job, housing, safety, pay for her
education and more.
4. There is
no such thing as a safe abortion. Let her know that abortion
clinics are not hospitals and many abortionists became such
because they failed their medical board exams. It's easy to
rupture the womb or colon, or have other complications that
result in permanent damage (sterility, miscarriages,
incontinence) and/or death. Some ER's are close by but most
5. Let her
know that you believe in her. She needs to know someone
genuinely cares and sees her goodness and beauty, etc. She
is worthy and not a hopeless person.
6. Do not try
to push a specific long-term solution on
that for professional counselors. Women in crisis are not
often receptive to ideas like adoption or their own
strength as mothers until their immediate fears and needs
have been taken care of.
that you both call 1-800-395-HELP (4357) together
and see if it leads
to a specific next step. (Program several of these numbers
into your speed-dial.)
extend a larger offer of friendship and involvement if you
are able to do so, on your own initiative and
responsibility. (Disclaimer: Anything you do is
on your own initiative and responsibility and you may not
hold Candle In The Window liable in any way.)
9. Ask for
her contact info so you can follow up and make
sure she is getting through to the group that can best help
her. Perhaps dial your own phone number from her cell so
you have each other's.
10. If you
are a believer, pray for her before, throughout and
be grateful for the opportunity to be of service.
OTHER WAYS TO
familiar with the resources in your area. A personal
contact is much better than a phone number. Drop by the
pregnancy centers to say hello and get a tour of their
2. Carry additional information that may be of service. Get
to know specifics of fetal development (heartbeat at 21 days,
brainwaves and reflexes detected at 42 days).
3. Learn about the dangers of abortion. The book
Lime 5 is an expose of tragedies
caused by abortionists in the USA. It was compiled
through records of lawsuits, police records, newspapers
articles, death certificates, autopsies, medical
examiners' reports, state licensing board documents and
4. Know the Top 5 ideas driving women to abortion, when
they aren't outright coerced by someone:
1. We already
have X number of children and can't afford another.
No, you already
have X+1 and you're choosing to kill one of them. Your new
child will be beautiful. His or her siblings will KNOW they
had a sister or brother. What will you tell them? They WILL
find out or sense it. Abortion will hurt your marriage AND
your relationship with your other children. We can help you
with the financial and medical issues.
2. We're both
in school, too young, etc. Letting the baby live will only
set you back 6 months. You will seriously regret an
abortion later. So many women have had their baby and
finished their education and are so happy they did - that
baby has brought them far more joy than any job they were
training for. If you can't raise the baby yourself, 2
MILLION couples are waiting to adopt and will offer the
home and love that you cannot. Please do not put your
short-term wishes against your baby's life! Or we can help
you with material resources and education/job help.
daughter was raped! Abortion does not undo a rape.
Rape is a tragic crime but please don't commit something
even worse. It's much harder to get over an abortion (where
you do the killing) than to get over a rape (where you are
a victim). Let the child live, as a beautiful testimony to
Love in spite of the rape. It's not the baby's fault. You
can let someone else raise the child, there are 2 MILLION
couples eager to adopt. Don't go this to your grandchild!
Or finish school as a single mom with our help!
4. I am
showing her support by helping her get an abortion.
On the contrary,
when she realizes what she has done she will hate whoever
convinced her to get an abortion. Mother, father,
boyfriend, husband: BEWARE! You are not doing her a favor,
neither for her body or her mind or soul. You are killing
HER as a person and she will soon react by cutting out the
people who have harmed her so much. And that's assuming the
abortionist doesn't hurt her physically, which is common.
5. She can't
handle this now. Later on she'll have a baby.
There is no "right
time" to have a baby, or a guarantee that you can just have
one when you decide. Many miscarriages follow abortion.
Being pregnant is always painful and inconvenient, but
luckily you are NOT as weak and helpless as people tell you
you are. The time for caution and prudence is before making
love, before making the baby. Once it's made the only
decision is to nurture and develop your abilities as a
self-sacrificing lover. To focus on harm, destruction,
emotional hardening and rejection are neither healthy or
trivial behaviors. Mother, become what you are! Be strong,
be brave, be better than your own parents ever were!
SIDEWALK COUNSELING & PEACEFUL PROTESTING
go pray or talk to people outside an abortion clinic, they
may ask "Don't you have more important things to do?" The
answer will soon come to your heart and lips, "No, there's
more important than
helping a woman avoid this mistake and accept the beautiful
living child in her womb." Here are more resources to learn
Contact Dick Retta,